“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” —Dale Carnegie
All the rationalizations do not seem to work when I try to “help” a complainer. “Help” is in quotation marks because it was/is my intention but it is not perceived as such.
It is perceived by the complainer as a challenge. It is perceived by the complainer as an excuse to pour more negative energy my way.
So is listening.
There is no way to listen to a complainer until they “get it out of their system.”
Most won’t get it out of their system. It IS their system. Jonathan Mead said complaining is an addition and a hard habit to break. To break the habit requires acknowledgement, attention, redirection, and time.
And tons of prayer.
Throw the complaining trait at the foot of the cross.
And leave it there.
Do not return to get it. Visit it. Or wish it away.
Consciously redirect negative thoughts to positive ones. It will feel strange at first. If it does, you are doing it right.
Ask for insight in your prayers to know the plan for you.
Celebrate even the smallest improvement in reduced complaining.
Declare your home to be a complaint-free zone for one-hour per day. Gradually add time in 30-minute.
Refuse to give your attention to other complainers in your circle. You will find that, to paraphrase the old saying birds of a complaining feather, flock together.
Remember that since there is a God and his name is not yours, that much of what we complain about is out of our control.
